Emotional Abuse /
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Abusive Relationships
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When discussing abusive relationships, many people only think about the obvious: physical abuse. When seeking therapy for relationship issues, many people may not realize they are in an abusive relationship simply because they have not been physically harmed. However, an abusive relationship isn’t limited to physical violence. While emotional abuse is almost always present in physically-abusive relationships, not all emotionally-abusive relationships include physical violence. Emotional abuse is real—what’s more, it usually lasts longer than physical abuse, and often causes more long-lasting damage.
So, why don't we talk enough about emotional abuse? First and foremost, it is difficult to spot emotional abuse because it doesn’t leave physical injuries. Emotional abuse involves insults, threats, yelling, cursing, name calling, belittling, mocking, and humiliating. However, this form of abuse is more than insulting or screaming at someone. Many times, emotional abuse happens gradually; it is hard to recognize that the relationship that we are in is emotionally abusive.​
Narcissistic Abuse
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Symptoms of emotional abuse are frequently encountered in those who have narcissistic individuals in their family or romantic life. These relationships often repeat similar patterns that cause individuals to stay in the relationship longer and not realize the abuse. The pattern in narcissistic abuse usually involves some of the following characteristics:
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Love bombing: This is the “honeymoon phase” of the relationship. In this stage, the abuser makes you feel like you are their soulmate. They often bombard you with love, affection, immediate commitment, and gifts, making the relationship appear flawless.
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Attacking your identity: The abuser begins to criticize your clothes, your body, and appearance. They also attack your knowledge, ideas, and beliefs, while humiliating your background and culture.
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Controlling: The abuser wants you to gain control over you. In order to achieve this, they sabotage your personal growth or your attempts to seek social support. They might check on you frequently or constantly with calls, texts, and Facetime attempts. They may also ask you to download tracking apps, or resort to following you and/or visiting you without giving you notice.
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Blaming: The abuser may blame you for things that aren’t your fault, such as claiming that you are selfish or causing fights. What’s more, they may accuse you of things you haven’t done, like cheating, being unfaithful, and lying.
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Isolation: They will attempt to isolate you from loved ones, family, and friends. One tactic is to make you feel embarrassed and ashamed, thus leading to involuntary isolation.
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Invalidating your emotions: The abuser will ignore your feelings or humiliate you for expressing any vulnerability, blaming you for being overly sensitive. They may also make you feel like you have to prove yourself, and prove how their behaviors made you feel.
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Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic in which the abuser makes you doubt your reality, perception, and sanity. Gaslighting might sound like:
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You are crazy, you are imagining things. you need help
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That never happened. I have never said that
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You are way too sensitive, I was joking
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I don't know what you are talking about
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You have a terrible memory​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
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Silent treatment: Silent treatment is a form of punishment where one person intentionally ignores or refuses to communicate with another.
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Smear campaigns: The abuser might smear your name to your friends and family in an attempt to damage your reputation and gain the support of your loved ones. They might tell stories to imply that you are unstable or “crazy”; this also helps them play the victim and leave you without support.
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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
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Long-term narcissistic abuse usually result in greater suffering, and it takes a long period of time for the victim to process. Upon enduring narcissistic abuse, the survivor usually struggles with a variety of lasting problems: depression, anxiety, trauma, self-blame, low self-esteem, a lost sense of self, restlessness, physical issues, trouble with decision making, and difficulty setting boundaries.
​​Trauma therapy offers survivors of narcissistic abuse trauma-focused approaches, such as Brainspotting, a therapeutic technique designed to access, process, and release trauma and emotional pain. This technique facilitates the processing of deeply held emotions and memories. Because it allows individuals to access deeper emotions quickly, Brainspotting can often be more effective and efficient than traditional talk therapy. Survivors of narcissistic abuse may also benefit from relationship therapy, as it can help them recognize and address struggles with codependency.
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With extensive experience in diverse settings, I have developed a strong background in supporting victims of partner violence. Throughout my career, I have counseled hundreds of survivors of domestic violence, led seminars on narcissistic abuse recovery, and gained comprehensive knowledge about abusive relationships, particularly in the context of narcissistic abuse. Leveraging this expertise, I am dedicated to helping you process trauma, support your healing journey, and effectively address the aftermath of abuse. Contact us today!